All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop

Oh baby, tell me why'd you have to go

'Cause this pain I feel it won't go away

And today I'm officially missing you



I thought that from this heartache, I could escape

But I've fronted long enough to know

There ain't no way

And today I'm officially missing you



Can't nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do, hey, baby

Said it stays on my mind

And I'm officially...



All I do is lay around, two years full of tears

From looking at your face on the wall

Just a week ago you were my baby

Now I don't even know you at all, I don't know you at all



Well, I wish that you would call me right now

So that I could get through to you somehow

But I guess it's safe to say, baby, safe to say

that I'm officially missing you


[Tamia's Officially Missing You]

This got to be the most torturing holiday ever.

Seeing the days nearing to my poly days, my mum is quite worried for me. Not for my studies but rather my clothes. Yes- Wow. My wardrobe is expanding with much thanks to her, my sis slimming waistline to pass off her [squeals] "it's-too-big-for-me!" items onto me and my deep indulgence with shopping nowadays. I have never shared one of my greatest passion-fashion, here before so it feels kinda, erm, weird. Heh.

I admit I'm a very style-conscious person. From the packaging of my milk carton to the design of that book cover, it was always hunting for the pageant-worthy one. For clothing, I tend to stick to monochrome [probably a great disease my mum has infected me with], and more to the rock kind of style. However, recently I have been veering off to girly, summer looks, stocking up on dresses, skirts and flora prints. My inner woman-ness is growing her way out. Hahah:D OH and my next buy will be: a straw-boater hat! I am not very much into trends and I hate it when people overrates them (Eg. My Mudder) 'cause you will keep seeing the same thing whenever you give your head a 90degree turn on the streets. Of course, there are times where there will be nice trends ,like strong shoulders ♥, thus it is worth a try. I remembered I got my first pair of leggings when I was Primary5. It was black and white striped and I have never wore it out before. Hahah! It was too hilarious and ugly to be seen! And I don't wear leggings anymore except when I'm in a winter country. Stockings are way better than the overused leggings.

Now, I see many people doing the HipHop/Hippie style or is it just me noticing them more? But still, I love them! I've always think that it's very cool and will always do so as it's a style which allows you to experiment with pop colours daringly and excessively.

If there's a chance, I would love to meet my all-time favourite fashion designer, MarcJacobs!! Tons of love for all his collections and the reputable LouisVuitton runways looks. His works are simply stunning and geniusly creative! I shall be a paparazzi next time and hold one job which is to stalk him! (Y) Hahah ^^

Oh, and I want to get these pair of shoes I've been lusting for so long..! Zan!

So a sucky sixteen and a thirfty twelve. I kinda expect I won't do so well as obviously I didn't put in my best. Wasn't in a good state back then, with a family environment that's certainly not condusive to study in. I am not using this as an excuse for the poor results I've got but it's a factor though. And I am really furious that that is a problem for me. But it all comes down to me too, being involve in a silly relationship which takes up like about 30% of the mind, leaving 70% to cut up into fractions for eight subs. It isn't worth it, honestly. I guess I have come a long way being really independent in my studies and scoring a low average is just barely passing my satisfaction. Those kids with all the support they have are truly blessed. Those love,care and concern showered upon them certainly made rage and jealously ran over me like a bullet train. [Hahah] However. I thank those who have been my emotional lift, the care they've shown still makes tears trickle down my cheeks. I am just really sorry for being a disappointment if you've ever believed that I have the potential to do well.

At least, I am delighted to be eligible for the course that I would totally be suck in to do. I will strive to do well in poly and hopefully be a graduate at Central Saint Martins. Never will I give up my ambition to be a designer and pursue the love of my life- arts. I remember telling people my first ambition was to be an artist. What I faced was just belly of laughters and the same old sentence of," Will you be able to feed yourself with that kind of career?" Being young, I thought I was naive too to actually think that I would want to have such a career so the thought of wanting to be an artist eventually subsided. See, money is always the root of all evil. Money was never a goal for me but we all know the importance of it. That's how we get those Hermes, Prada and first-class air tickets. {Dreamy}

I am happy for my friends who have done well (in my opinion) and hope that they will too, live their dreams soon. It was a joy to be together for the past few years, whatever we've shared will always be a treasured memory. Now that we are going our seperate ways, I will truly miss you guys. Many rewinding of those scene of crazyness and cheeks-blushing encounters. [Cliche ttm! but it's true!] All in all, let's endeavour forever. May we cheers to our success soon.

------
I can't help it. I want school to start soon!

My long awaited 2010 has finally began, rounding off 2009 nicely. 2009 was hell yeah crazy. Stressing out for Os, end my secondary school days, love the one I love, then lose the one I love, great company of friends I had, huge accomplishment of shedding off five kilos, dropping two sizes down, got a full-time job and hating it. Quite a lovely year to say.

Gosh, 2010 just started off by bombing me with so many activities for the first week already. Let's see, Kbox last Sat-missed, Tuesday-4/5 bbq, Thursday-Baking at Chloe's,Friday/Saturday- Poly visits and somewhere along this week, my final injection appointment. Great.

I am not a person that's good at keeping my new year's resolution in my ever-now-rotting-brain or my heart. That's why I am not penning down any. But all I'm setting for this new year is I am going to chase my dream to the fullest, make friendships lasting, be faithful and make a life out of my life. And of course, every year I pray for a better family which doesn't ever get any better. So I am most probably not giving a damn, let fate decide, leave that fucked up shithole- if I can.

What I probably fear most is back. Howww. How am I going to face it. Put up a smile, bottle up the past and hurl it out of the window? It's going to be hard on me, I really hope not.

Fear, let's not meet.